Friday, August 2, 2013

The Friendship Compact

Today I am going to write about what I have decided to call the 'Friendship Compact.'  After talking philosophy with Jon yesterday it made me want to put this idea into words.  We were discussing the notion of self-interested action being held on a pedestal in US culture.  So this goes into why I think it's quite rare to actually have a true friend.

The Friendship Compact as I will describe here is an understanding among friends to do be committed to making a meaningful impact on each others' lives.  Too often I think friendship is a superficial agreement amongst people out of either necessity or coincidence.  It is rare that many friendships I think endure the test of time because most are not committed to being a meaningful relationship.  I think many friendships develop into what I label as 'Coincidence of Interests' friends.  By this I mean they are only friends because they happen to share a common interest in blogging about stamp collections, but neither friend really wants to move beyond the sphere of mutually shared interests.

So what is a true friend that fits the description of 'The Friendship Compact?'  Well these are friends that are willing to move beyond the sphere of simple common interests and are willing to set aside their own personal wants to help out or advance the interests of a friend.  An example of this would be two friends who share an interest in horse riding.  However, one friend also has an intense passion for country music and the other finds it displeasing.  True friends, following the Compact, means that at times if there was a country music concert the friend wanted to see and did not want to experience it alone the other friend would set aside his or her own self-interest and help make a meaningful impact on the other friend.

Whoa!  Friends who don't only do things when it solely suits their own personal whimsy?  It should come as no surprise that each side of the friendship is a human being with their own personal wants and desires.  While at the core of friendship this means that both friends will generally want to do the same thing there will be at times where those interests diverge.  True friends are ones that see this and are willing to make personal sacrifices for the other person.

We all need those friends who are there for coincidence of interests, but I think those few friends who put aside their self-interest from time to time are the ones that really make life meaningful.

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